When we grow up, we look up to our parents, see them as our rock, count on them, and believe they are there to love and protect us. And some parents do that. They love, protect, cherish and raise us wholeheartedly, with our best interests in mind. Unfortunately, not all parents do that, or not everything they think is good for us it really is. Sometimes, some parents believe they know best, and their kids are meant to listen to them undoubtedly, because, in the end, kids are kids.
Now, switching gears to a less theoretical and a more anchored in reality approach, I want to talk about the hidden benefits of some of the victims and why, by trying too hard to help them, we can turn from a rescuer to a persecutor.
You’ve found the love of your life. You are madly in love, and you know you are living with The One. When you are together, everything is perfect, and when you’re not in the same room, you keep on smiling because you know you are loved.
As social beings, we need to know that we belong and are protected by someone else. This is how babies dare to walk and talk because they know their parents are there to watch their steps. Later in our lives, we learn that our friends help us evolve because they understand us, and they are there to witness the new roads we take.
Have you ever said to yourself or someone else: “Oh, that woman must be so happy because she has her own business/ a husband/ 3 kids, etc? Or, did it ever occur to you that a celebrity must have a perfect life because they have money and a lot of fame?
When it comes to romantic relationships, I hear over and over again the same phrase: I want to find the right partner/the partner of my dreams, and I’ll live a happy life. Friends or clients, men or women, and even teenagers talk about how much they want to find the man/ woman of their dreams. Every one of us (because I cannot exclude myself) have a mental or actual list of traits we want to find in our ideal partner.
It is very interesting how we all blame bullies and bullying and how we try as much as we can to treat others with love and compassion. We tend to see the half-full glass when it comes to other people’s stories, but when it’s about ourselves, we completely forget about empathy and love, and we start judging and punishing the person in the mirror.
Self-love is not equal to being selfish. You can’t feed others when your pot is empty; you can’t protect others when you don’t wear your armor. As romantic as it may sound, losing yourself to keep someone else in your life does not apply in real life because if you lose yourself trying to please or to help others, you’ll lose them, too.