How to stop sabotaging yourself

A few days ago, my bathroom faucet stopped working. I couldn’t turn it off completely; it would constantly pour a little bit of water. In the next hour, I Googled for plumbers, I called a few, and I made an appointment for the same day. The plumber came, fixed the issue, and everyone went back to normal. The plumber probably went to solve another faucet, and I went back to my coaching business.


Today, I remembered the plumbing situation during my morning routine, and I thought about how quick and easy everything went. Google helped me find a professional; I called, he did his job and now everything works wonders. 


After that, I thought about my coaching clients who decided to work with me only after they struggled by themselves. Sometimes it takes months or even years for one to choose to work with a life coach. People are often resistant to seek help, thinking that they can handle the situation by themselves or with their friends or spouses’ help. Some of them compare their problems or obstacles with those of other people, and 100% of the time, they belittle their issues.


And if you’re trying to tell yourself that “Everyone has issues with self-confidence. How would be the world if everyone would go to a life coach?” My answer is: The world would definitely be a better place, with more happy people!


Sometimes I wonder how come that we call a professional right after seeing something is wrong with the plumbing in our house or with our car, but we keep on postponing, or we don’t even think about calling a life coach when our life derails? Do you believe that a faucet is more important than your well-being? 


Do you love your car more than you love yourself? No? Then how come that you give your car the attention needed and you take it to maintenance periodically, but you don’t do the same thing with your soul?


Not taking action today or any time you need guidance is one of the most common ways of self-sabotage. Not seeking help when you are at a crossroads makes you think of yourself less than you think of the objects in your life. 


And no! In case you were wondering, low self-esteem is not something unimportant; hating your job is not normal and trying to solve everything on your own is not cost-efficient nor time-efficient.


Dealing with the same pattern of abusive partner all by yourself is not a solution. Also, if you take a little bit of me-time and work on your goals with a coach, it doesn’t mean you steal time you can spend with your kids. It helps you build more authentic relationships with them. At the same time, improving yourself makes you a better role model for your kids.


If you’re wondering what is the best way to stop sabotaging yourself, the answer would be to start giving you the same treatment you give the others. And don’t be afraid to seek guidance.


Self-love, self-actualization, and self-awareness are not equal to selfishness. These are signs that you are starting to break the chains of self-sabotage you’ve tied around you.