All people on planet Earth had experienced a toxic relationship at least once in their lifetime. Some have lived it with one of their parents or grandparents, some with sisters or brothers, but today I want to talk about romantic relationships and how to see if you live a toxic one.
1. You feel like you constantly have to do things to earn your partner’s love and respect. You always feel the need to put extra work into your relationship. It’s almost like a full-time job, where you often do overtime for a little bonus or not at all.
2. You don’t feel good enough for your partner. Your ideal relationship can be compared to a triathlon; You know you’re not there yet, so you keep running at marathons to become better and better, but you don’t have any supporters to appreciate your efforts.
3. Your partner points out all your flaws, and that makes you feel very insecure. There’s always something. Either you talk too loud, or you are not funny enough. Your clothes are not fancy, or you are not a good driver. Being next to your partner feels like having a magnifying glass on your ugliest pimple so that everyone sees it.
4. He or she belittles you in front of other people. When you’re with your friends, and everyone is having a good time, your partner starts making fun of you in front of the others.
5. They keep accountability of how much you spend or how much money they have invested in you, even though you earn your own money and contribute equally to the relationship.
6. You feel rejected. You are intimate only when your partner wants it. Every time you are trying to initiate intimacy, it’s not a good time. They are either stressed, tired, or upset, making you feel guilty for not being empathetic to their needs.
7. They remind you very often how lucky you are to have them in your life. Sometimes they even think that they are your saviors and point out they don’t know how you were handling your life before them.
8. You feel you are in a toxic relationship. Sometimes when your glass becomes full, you start seeing abnormal things and start wondering if your relationship is unhealthy for you. Since you are reading this article, the odds are that you are trying to find some answers to these questions. If you’re asking yourself if you have a toxic partner, the answer is almost always “yes.”
Even if I added it at the end, the number eight sign is the most important one. Realizing that you are in a toxic relationship is the most important step one can take to break free from a life of unhappiness.
I know toxic partners are incredibly charming, and since they pointed out all your wrongs, you feel like you won’t find someone like them ever again. And that is absolutely true! You won’t find someone like them because you will see the patterns and you will run away as far as possible.
The good part is that, exactly like I mentioned at the beginning of the article, every person on this planet has experienced a toxic relationship in their lives. Some of them are still living them, but some of them, the ones that you see very happy, are over those abusive partners.
And if you don’t know which road to take, it’s ok. You can start by taking a big breath. And then you can seek help. A life coach can hold your hand and light up this new avenue for you.
Instead of a closing line, I’ll leave here some words for reflection. As Radu F Constantinescu, a Romanian author, once said: “If you loved so much the wrong person, just imagine how hard you’ll love the right one.”